The Journey

So this post is definitely for the female readers out there.  I found this great read in a bargain bin at Borders Book Store this spring and thought "why not?"  It sounded like if it didn't hit home to me now, it may just hit home at some point in the near future.  It's called "50" is the New Fifty by Suzanne Braun Levine.  It's a quick read with 10 life lessons for women in second adulthood.  

Well after just two lessons, I'm hooked!  It's like she wrote the book for me.  I know what your thinking now.  "Your only 45 Kimberly!"  I know, but the book is about para menopausal women or post menopausal women that are going into what she refers to as the fertile void.  Not only do I know other women going through this feeling right now, but I was one of the rare women to experience menopause in my early twenties.  Having been post menopausal for twenty five years now, I definitely know what she and the women in her book are speaking about. I would also offer up that I've known women along the way that have chosen to not have children and still feel this void in trying to find their purpose.  It can't just be a career can it?

What's so great about living in this day and age is that we talk about this now with each other and don't consider our lives over just because we're going into a different age group.  Our grandmothers felt that after menopause, the end was near for them.  Their purpose in life was fulfilled and now it was just about waiting for death.  Not our generation or even our mothers generation though.  I've been fortunate to have an extremely strong and independent mother that showed me at an early age that being 50 doesn't mean your life is over.  On the contrary, it's only beginning if you choose it to be.  My mother received her doctorate degree from the University of Washington at the age of 50.  Go mom!

Now that I'm reading this book I'm realizing that I wasn't alone at all in my twenties.  It was only that most of the women experiencing this void feeling were much older than I at the time.  A great saying from the book by Madeleine L'Engle was, "The great thing about getting older, is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been."  So true!  I don't know a single women that has ever told me at our age now they would want to go back to their 20's, 30's or 40's.  Maybe they would want that toned body or tight skin, but would they really want all the other stuff that went along with it?  No way.....Probably not if really given the chance.  The crazy thing is that it's not like our 20's, 30's and 40's were/are bad.  They were a blast!  I had a great time in my 20's and 30's doing all the fun things those age groups did.  I've really come about myself in my 40's, so I'm pumped about my fifties and beyond.  I remember hitting the age of thirty-five and thinking I loved that age!  I finally was getting to the point that I cared more about what I felt and wanted than what others may say or think.  I finally was getting to the point where I looked at my wants and needs rather than others needs first.  Now that I'm forty-five I would say the same thing about not wanting to go back to thirty-five again.  Why would I?  No thank you.  What I'm finding out now is that the experiences that I've had in my 20's, 30's, and 40's are what have shaped me and make me feel more confident about what I want or don't want in my life.  I'm finally feeling that feeling of peace within myself. 

By reading this book, though, it sounds like I'm not done.  It's going to continue getting better if I choose to keep growing and learning about life and myself.  The only way I won't enjoy it is if I choose to just sit still and feel like it's now over because I hit a "certain" age.  Not me!  I think anyone that knows me well knows that stubborn Kimberly is not one to accept stagnation.  My mother used to call me "screaming Mimi" because I was such a stubborn little girl and would scream at the top of my lungs to get my way.  She's still in there mom......don't worry.

Ms. Levine's second lesson is titled, "Nothing changes if nothing changes."  Duh right? But if you really think about what that is saying it makes you realize that is where so many people get stuck.  I've known so many people, including myself at certain points along the way, that talk about something they want to do or change on and on but never do anything about it.  My grandma used to say, "they'll do it when they feel like doing it".  That's right..... no one can make any of us do something we don't want to do.  Even in the most extreme cases, we still make a choice to comply with the demands of the other person or society. 

So, what is it that you want to do or change in your life?  It can be something as simple as learning a new hobby, losing weight, changing jobs, or trying a new vegetable this week.  Golfing was one of my things that I told myself I was going to do more of this summer.  Well, I haven't played as much as I would have liked to, but at least I played several times and had fun.   I'm going to make it my personal mission today to think of one thing I want to try or do in the next week out of my comfort zone and make it happen!  My favorite cell phone salutation is "thanks for calling and make it a great day!" Well, I'm going to get off this computer and go do that.  Are you?